Tina Rowley

writer + (performer) + [space left open for surprises]

Filtering by Tag: green card

verde verdi vert ding ding ding green card!



Oh my little green onions! Sweet fried green tomatoes! Holy guacamole!

We had our green card interview for Dave this morning and the nice man said yes so fast that time turned backwards and we were babies right there in front of the desk. Boing!

We had a big old box full of evidence: wedding photos and love photos and Finn photos and notebooks full of financial stuff and even pages and pages of this blog printed out with everything that ever related to Dave. Gas bills and bank accounts and house building invoices and tax forms and zoo membership cards. A big fatty fat old box and the most well organizedest binder with fancy plastic insert things and everything. And the only thing he looked at was Finn's birth certificate. Nothin'! He didn't want to see nothin'!

He said, "Where'd you meet?" and we answered, "A yoga retreat" and he said, "Yoga?! Good for you!" It was like that.

We should be getting that sweet little card within a month. And it's the one that lasts for ten years, which we will never have to re-up because Dave will go for citizenship as soon as he can. Then we can bring sweet Larraine out here lickety-split and we will have a total quorum.

Relief at its finest! We were so freaked out and procrastinatey and full of dread for so long for no reason. Now we feel like little happy floating fairy feather dandelion seeds. Poof! Our family will not be rent asunder or transferred across the globe prematurely! Sweet green grapes. Sweet greeny kiwi honeydew moneydew grassy mossy GREEN CARD!

Naturally, Finn chose last night to never sleep all night and instead to punch us and talk and moan and roundhouse kick us til the break of dawn. So, next to happy and relieved we are also superthefuckball tired. Bring on the couch and the pizza and eclairs and the So You Think You Can Dance. Flopping flophouse goodness.

Thanks for the good green wishes, beloved elves of ours! We smooch you with great legality!







We'd also like to give a special Rowley family total prostration to this guy:



Good old glorious go-to elephant-head Ganesha, remover of obstacles! This cat layed it on with a trowel for us. We're flat out on the floor with our faces in the linoleum for you, big G!

P.S. As if the good green card news weren't enough, Pagliacci gave us our pizza order for free tonight! Man, this is a good day. We have got some serious good vibes around here.

P.P.S. I forgot. That free pizza wasn't an anomaly. Pizza's ALWAYS free once you crack your way into the inner circle. Now Dave knows what we Americans have known all along. Welcome to the secret, honey. America: Free Pizza!

oh me god


We just got our date for Dave's green card interview. It's May 22nd. 10am.

Hey, what are you guys doing on May 22nd at 10am? Oh, nothing? Well, um. Hey! Hey. Whyn't you guys all get together in a big group, internet, and hold hands and think of me and Dave and think of us all green and Dave with a green card in his hand.


And while you're visualizing, visualize the interviewer to be like the lady who helped us at the bank today, who was like, "If everyone who came in here was like you, my job would be so easy! I would be happy to be your personal banker forever and ever!" Those are direct quotes. The friendliest place on Earth was truly my local Bank of America this afternoon. The manager came over and introduced himself to us. He looked like he wanted to go fix us some hot chocolate or maybe ask us to the prom or something. Then our eternal personal banker said more things like, "When you come in again, say hello! I would never be able to forget you!" We must have accidentally stepped in a puddle of bank pheremones. Please everyone pray that on the morning of May 22nd we step in a puddle of USCIS pheremones.


Greencardgreencardgreencardgreencard. Green card.


The fingers are crossed.