Tina Rowley

writer + (performer) + [space left open for surprises]

how i stay vegetarian

Son of a bitch! This isn't bacon, but it's bacon enough! I swear on your mother's grave, I would volunteer at a little table in a supermarket for this product. I'd be grabbing people out of the aisles. TASTE THIS! GOOD, RIGHT? RIGHT?! And if they were like, "Not good," I would grab them by their collars and throw them up against the cereal and shake them until they were ready to taste it again better this time damn it.

Put it in a sandwich maker with a little cheese and tomato....throw it on a pizza...I swear to GOD.