Tina Rowley

writer + (performer) + [space left blank for surprises]

Welcome to the internet home of Tina Rowley. Here you'll find my blog, links to my other published writing, and whatever ends up climbing into the space I left blank for surprises.

 

ask me how many times i've said "camel" today

More than the busiest camel merchant who ever lived. Really, more than anyone else has ever said it, ever. With the NOTABLE exception of my son.

"Kanga" is long gone. "Cow" is so five minutes ago. It's, well, this was our afternoon:

Finn: Camel. Ca-mel. CAMEL!

Me: Camel.

Finn: CAAA-AAAmel! (And then whispering.) Camelcamel.

Me: Camel.

Pause.

Finn: CAMEL! CAAA-MEL!

Me: Camel, right. Camel. Camel.

Finn: Camel camel camel.

Me: This book has a camel, too, look.

Finn (blowing a gasket): CAAAAAAAA-MEL!!!!!

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Oh my god, as I'm writing this, I can hear Finn downstairs with Dave saying "camel camel".

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My conversational skills are going to be hanging by a thread here soon. Someone's going to be like, I just read the most amazing book. And I'm going to be like, book! Very good! You said book. And they're going to be like....anyway, it's about phenomenology, and it's- And I'm going to be like, listen to you! What a guy. I love the way you can speak! Say MORE. And they'll be like, so, the book- And I'll be like, book!

And they'll be like,
SAYONARA, WEIRDO.



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Recently, it was giraffe. He saw a giraffe at the zoo and yelled like he was being reunited with his...fuckin'....most awesome person ever that he'd been parted from for centuries. So we got him a stuffed giraffe, thinking we were geniuses. He was entirely WHAT. EVER. about it. Last week, it was cow. COW! Cow cow. He was SO cow cow. So we Einsteins got him a stuffed cow, because we thought he'd love it forever. And he had a brief torrid affair with the cow. And now he's looking at camel porn.

We could nip this in the bud immediately if we bought him a stuffed camel. He'd be all....rhino!

P.S. Also, whenever Finn sees one of these guys



he's like OH HELL YEAH THAT GUY IS BRINGING THE PARTY IN HERE.



P.P.S. Please, I beseech you, let there be no one here looking for actual camel porn.