Tina Rowley

writer + (performer) + [space left open for surprises]

i really need you guys to jump

We watched Rock Star: Supernova this evening. Many of the performers really needed the people in the audience to jump. They said it a lot.

I need you guys to jump!

Okay, now I really need you guys to jump!

Now I'm going to need you guys to jump!

You know what, would-be rock stars? I think you didn't really need everybody to jump. I think it was a preference that the people jump. You guys ought to be careful with that. You will be the rock stars who cried wolf. What if one day you truly need us guys to jump? What if you're stuck in a tree? Or what if it doesn't work out as rock stars and you become firefighters and we're all in a burning building and you're holding out something soft for us to land on and if we don't jump we will be obliterated by the flames in the room behind us? You didn't think of that, rock stars. You didn't need us to jump tonight. You just would have liked us to jump.

Also, rock stars, if you are performing and you SUCK, our jumping cannot help you - particularly jumping that you guilt us into. That kind of jumping is meaningless, rock stars. It's pity jumping. If the people spontaneously jump, though, bully for you.