Tina Rowley

writer + (performer) + [space left open for surprises]

king dave the awesome

People of England! or, um. Hold on. Lords and ladies!

I givest unto you your sovereign ruleyman, King Awesome the Awesome!
Good King Wencesdave! His Royal Highness, Lordy Lordy look who's FORTY!

Slow me down, Lord!

40 years ago, a squalling royal infant was born. And now behold in its place a MAN.

In honor of Dave the Ponyhearted, I give you this list:

Some Reasons Why Dave and Not Elvis
and Not Olaf nor Crimson is King
1. Dave is constantly demanding a pony. Sometimes forcefully, sometimes offhandedly. It's all, get me a pony this, are you coming back with a pony that, will you be stopping by the pony store on your way home from rehearsal.
2. Dave ends all phone conversations with the smallest, shyest, most optimistic little "bye" I've ever heard. He turns into a little flower spirit just for that last word.
3. Sorry, Dave. DAVE IS A MAN, a manly man with hair on his chest. He would bite a shark in half if it came to it.
4. Dave is messy, like I am, so we live in a pit, but there's no judgement.
5. Dave is a fabulous cook.
6. When Dave was seven, he beat on a nun with his fists for taking away his rugby cards.
7. Dave can surf! Ba na na nanana na nanana na nanana na nananana......
8. Dave is fearless, and tries shit out like, I'm going to teach myself how to play the violin.
9. Dave hates wearing ties so much it's like nothing I've ever seen. Did a tie kill his family? Because you would think that one did.
10. Dave draws like the rest of us breathe. He carries a little sketchbook everywhere, and draws the counter he's sitting at in the cafe, the dog on the street, little weird gizmo people out of his imagination.
11. Dave is an amazing writer. We take a writing class together once a week and he blows us away every time.
12. Dave can lose something AT THE VERY SAME TIME AS FINDING IT. He can lose something that is grafted to his hand.
13. Dave loves kids. Good thing!
14. Dave smells great. If you ever have the opportunity to smell him, take it. You won't regret it.
15. Dave has been a rabid fan of the Wests Tigers Rugby League team in Sydney, Australia since he was 4 or 5 years old. Since way back when they were the Balmain Tigers. If I ever start a band, I will call it The Balmain Tigers to show my love for him.
16. Same as #1, only substitute surfboards for ponies.

There you are. A sweet sixteen compendium for a kind old doddering man.

Happy Birthday, my shrivelly carved-apple-head husband. You are the greatest, and not Mohammed Ali.